Last night here...

Well... it's been two days. We got here to Bacolod from a rough start yesterday. Unforeseen stuff almost caused my friend to miss the flight. But all is well. Even though so many bad vibes have been spread... late check-ins... run backs to places you wouldn't need t have gone to... left behind money... broken chargers... and missing contacts... it all went well in the end. Yeah we wasted some moola earlier and got nowhere. But the night is young... though we're now just staying here. Well... a movie or two and a fairly early wake up tomorrow should do the trick of wasting us away, leaving us with little energy and a yearning to just go home and sleep.

It's our second and last night here in Bacolod, on this business trip we have. We went out, but to no avail. Two places went and two places gone. And we're back. A noontime flight tomorrow would send us travelling back home... at least part of the way home. What is there to do here? Is it just a movie? A blog entry? Unlimited browsing? Is that it?

Well... whatever then. Multitasking... listening to the TV while I write this. Me writing a blog... and the character on TV writing on her diary... how funny coincidence can be... And now another movie comes along. Let's see how it goes... Perhaps I'll take a shower now... and get ready to sleep... but not necessarily going to sleep. This has gone on and on and on... in this cool room... under the light of fluorescence... So what now? It's time to watch... or shower... or whatever... 'till next time...

Hopeless...
Helpless...
Hapless...

trying something out...

SO i'm just trying out a feature and see if it does what I think it does... Supposedly, there's a cros blogging feature from Multiply allowing me to post here and it automatically posts on Multiply... I do hope it works as we're not allowed to access Multiply at work... So here goes...

Someone...

This is but a small part of the piece. It's funny that this is the twelfth piece and that it is written about a year since this all began...

It’s late. But I’m still up. For reasons beyond that which I have learned in my life, I do not know why. These things I feel are all so alien to me. My heart is racing. Faster than ever I have felt before. Even more than those times of great anxiety for horrors I had to face. Mundane though they were, they were still horrors from my life. But then again, these things I face now are far more unknown to me. I do not what it is really. Time has certainly given me so many things. Life has challenged me many times. And this… whatever this is… I feel is just another one of those challenges. But I do not know if I can face it alone. It frightens me to think thus. These feelings… What are they really?

It’s been a while since this started. And I have had a lot of hurdles to face. But until now, I feel that I haven’t even scratched the surface of this challenge that has been brought before. To have to learn so much is so short a time. To feel things I have never felt before… or perhaps I have felt it before. I just never realized it. Naïveté. I’m so naïve. All these years I have been with people… people who cared… people who were there, but I never knew it. I never noticed them. And now, I yearn for the care, longing for that soft touch, that tight hug. Someone I could hold in my arms. Someone with whom I can be.

For now, someone care dearly for lies sleeping in bed. I want to hold that person in my arms and say what I feel. I just hope I can muster the courage to do. It's all so hard... this life we live.